There's this notion in my head that never wore off; that I could and would never feel love as truly, as deep, as passionate, as I did when I fell for this one guy at the age of 16. Oh, I had multiple boyfriends before as well as after him. But nothing, and I mean nothing could beat what I felt for him.
This particular guy - the one I could safely say I fell in love with - he was 21 when we met. We were friends, or more of acquaintances, two years prior to being a couple. Unlike the guys I've been with before him (and sadly, even after him), he made me feel... Gosh, I don't even know how to describe that feeling. It's the kind of feeling that makes you want to cry yet jump with joy, secure yet scared, ALL at the same time. It's just indescribable. And the first kiss, it felt like the whole world just faded and silenced and for a moment there, it was just me, him, and our feelings, completely NOTHING else...
The 'KISS'. The one that makes you feel like you mean something to someone, completely you, the whole you, and being loved for just YOU. And that kiss that automatically closes you eyes and you'd just float, like you're not where you are... and the kiss that, when you open your eyes, makes you say to yourself, "I want nothing more..." And you don't, because that's all that could ever be.
We went on three years. The journey was bumpy. But it was great. Tremendously great. It was beautiful and I should have known that all good things must come to an end, because it was totally heartbreaking when it ended. It took me years after that trying to mend the pieces. Today, it has been 7 years since it ended, yet I still can't find some of the broken pieces I left then. It's getting better but sometimes, there are still moments while reading a novel, or watching a movie, or listening to a love song, where the image of his face - to the details - would appear in my mind.
It took me a lot of years, letters, men, tears, work, studies, more men, anger, to try and get over him. And when I realized that I can't keep hoping for him to come back, I opened the door again. But my, ain't it hard to open it wide. Opening it ajar is the best that I can do.
For whatever reason that is, I never know for sure. All I know is, I've been infidel towards Love itself. I forgot how it felt like to commit a commitment that comes right out of your heart; committing because you want to, not because you work for it. I forgot how it feels like to care about a person so much it hurts myself. I forgot how it feels like to want to see a person everyday, or always wanting to talk to him. I forgot how it feels like to kiss with meanings deeper than just suggesting "This is going to be adjourned to bed, clothes off." I forgot how to... love.
To all the ones I've been with before and after this one particular guy, I'm sorry. Honestly - and you probably know it better than me - I didn't give it my best. I didn't jump with both feet in. I'm not scared, or afraid of falling in love again. I just don't know how anymore. It's like, a knowledge, if not a feeling, that was robbed off me. For some reason, I just couldn't feel, do, nor think the same about love the way I did. I just don't know how.
I tried. Gave it a shot. But someone always ends up hurt. It came to one point where I just stop. Rather than trying to commit to someone because that someone deserves my loyalty, and to mention, worthy of it, I failed miserably and I just give up trying at all, because the more I try, more people are hurt. So I go on living life... More often than not I meet men whom I would say are worthy of my attention, and probably even effort. I would like them today and think, "Hey, he's not bad," but wake up the next day and just have a 180 degree turned of opinion.
I'm not looking for any relationship right now. But I'd be lying if say that all these petty experiences didn't for one second get me thinking, "How long will this go on?" "How long more would I go around treating men like they're clothes?" "Wouldn't it come to a day when I would look around me and see friends who are settled down, or at least just be with the men they, well.. love?" "And since all the men I'm seeing now are just... men/friends/flirts/platonic friends, which one would I really turn to for everything? For fun, for security, for company, for opinions, for a shoulder, for... love?"
Needless to say, I'm still young. 23. Some would say that it's not time I think about all these commitment issues, that it's not about time for me to worry whether or not I'll settle down sooner or later, that I should play the field. Oh I've played the field alright. And although it was fun at first, eventually I'll sit down at my balcony alone, looking at the stars and wonder, "Will I ever find anyone worthy to share this moment with?" And usually, even after 7 years later, only one face would be vividly pictured in my mind, bringing along with it fresh-like feelings that I once felt when I was 16...
There had been many times when I honestly thought I had let him go, and it's been done in so many ways. We had confronted each other about it (thousands of times) and I should already get my answers, which I did. But I guess, it's only normal that letting go is not easy. Sometimes I wonder why, even after all these years, I'm still not able to really let go of him. Would anyone ever be able to make me feel the way he did just by looking at me? Would anyone ever be able to make my name sound just as sweet whenever he says it? Would anyone ever be able to give me the kind of comfort he gave me? Or the security? And even the fear of losing him? Would anyone ever be able to be the kind of friend he is to me? Would I ever, ever be able to love anyone just like I've loved, and still do, him? Would I ever, ever again... love?
First times are always exciting, unexpected, breath-taking, awesome, fearful, scary... Awesome. But it doesn't mean that second time couldn't be just as great. If only I just put in just as much effort as I did the first time. And the best thing about the second time is that, you get to learn from the first one and do better. *smiles*
No doubt, the memories will always stay. As much as I'd wish the memories and feelings would just fade away so that it would be much easier, they'd stay. And since there's nothing much I can do about it, I might as well make the best out of it; keep it. But it doesn't mean I should stop giving myself a chance, giving other people the chance, giving love a chance. And I shall. First thing first, get rid of the stupid notion. *smiles*
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
My Haters
For someone who had received good/positive/inspiring/motivating/pleasing comments all her life, being scorned at – subtly or directly – can be quite disheartening. And as much as I would like to not believe them, I realize that being mad at these disdaining remarks would only mean that I’m being immature and ignorant of negative opinions, what could also be helpful if used correctly. So I took it all in.
In just two weeks, I received hate messages from three people. Three people; that should mean something, right? Two of these three literally spelled it out that they’re disgusted at the thought of me. One of these three made it clear that he/she was so annoyed by my words and actions that he/she refused to ever see me again. Well actually, all three are completely opposed to the idea of meeting me at all. Funnily, this whole hate-messages thingy started after I sent them a message of peace-making. Yeap. How bizarre.
I’m the kind of person who couldn’t stand the thought of people not liking me. Who could, right? But I’ve always been the kind who wants to settle everything displeasing that ever happened between me and anybody. I’d confront these people, through any way possible; if it’s easier to speak out through words, then messages it is. But if things could be sorted out by meeting up, then chat over drinks it is.
So two weeks ago, I decided to settle things nicely with an old friend. I sent her a message via Facebook (thank God for social networking websites). No swearing, no foul words (except for one part, in giving an example), no negative comments… just a purely honest message of reminiscing a good past, which is followed by, “It would be great if we could at least look each other in the eyes and smile. That’s all.”
What I got for a reply, was utterly shocking. A whole message containing words of despise, pointing the blame back at me (an issue that I still don’t think is my fault at all), that ended with, “Do me a favor, stay the hell out of my life and our friends’, if you have any dignity left.” Funny. Coz the ‘friends’ he/she was referring to, are still happily chatting and exchanging friendly comments with me on a daily basis. Either they’re being hypocrites or he/she was completely lying on a baseless fact.
The second person, same thing. Well, not exactly. I sent a message asking for a proper explanation on an issue. Mind you, nicely, despite this person’s obvious mistakes when that issue was at place. And then there you go again, a reply full of hate and discontent towards me. I was once again, shocked.
There was only one reason why I was so surprised by the way these two reacted; they are much older than me, which leads me to think that by right, they should be much mature than me, right? They should know better how to handle issues at hand better than I do. I felt (and still do) like I was being the wiser one by not reacting in anger like they did.
Now, the third one. I wrote about him/her in my blog. Remember ‘shithead’ (which I am more than glad to retract by now)? I re-added him/her into my friends list, thinking that bygones should be bygones and I still somehow believe that he/she is a nice person and worth to at least have as an acquaintance. I chatted with him virtually and asked him/her for opinions on matters what could be personal, just to see if I could recapture that good side of chemistry we had before the failure of getting along with each other. That one went well, but yeah, really stale tho’. So I decided, it’s just probably not gonna work, at least not the way I expected it to be. So the communication/contact rate lessens.
I wasn’t even thinking about him/her anymore until a message came in two days ago, which led me to reminiscent of the past (the good parts , of course). And I thought, “I’m leaving in a couple of weeks time and might not be coming back. Why not see him/her before I leave, see if it might work out because the first two times sucked big time. Who knows, third time’s the charm they say, right?” He/she gave me the idea of meeting up first, which, coming to think about it now, might have been a joke I didn’t get. All in all, the message-replying scenario just turned ugly, and I ended up being scorned at.
You may think that Amy is probably just being ignorant of things that might have been her fault, that she's just pretending not to hear nor see the bad side of her that people see. I thought so too. But there is another thing about me; I don’t react in anger or hatred, outwardly expressed or not, before I make sure that I am on the right side of things. For all three Haters (yeah, that’s what I call them, not exactly applicable for the third one tho’. He/she doesn’t hate me, only annoyed – as he/she put it), I actually went around asking for opinions from people whose points of view can be trusted because they don’t always think I’m right, a.k.a., honest. And they said that it’s weird that I even asked them if I’m right to feel the way I felt about Them Haters, because the issues are mighty obvious, as in, it is easily detectable who’s the victim and the villain. So, either these people whose opinions I trust are lying, or… well, I’m right.
So what happened after them Haters (the first two, actually. The third one doesn’t affect me much) replied in such anger and hatred? Did I reply them angrily and in hate as well? *smiles* I’m proud of myself, really. I calmly answered all their angry questions, correctly with no exaggerations – with bits of sarcasm here and there - and offered a second chance of peace, to which they reacted by deleting me off their friends list completely (as if that’s gonna solve the problem). And I just left it at that. It’s not that I give up in trying to settle our issue. I’m gonna try again, maybe in later years when they’re mature enough to react to peace-making messages properly.
It's not like I'm saying that I don't have any negative attributes. I do. I don't always do things correctly or handle things peoperly. I fumble and fall every now and then, I make mistakes, I blurt out displeasing words, I don't always smile 24/7, I'm not always available for help, etc. I accept the way I am and do try and change what I'm capable of changing. All apologies to people who were ever negatively affected by the decisons I made, the steps I took, the words I said, I face I put on, the assistance I failed to offer, the love I failed to give. But I think we're all capable of these shortcomings, and we're all given a choice to understand or to ignore people's imperfections, to forgive or to dwell in anger.
To my Haters, I can only hope that you will find it in your hearts someday to get rid of the hatred, and all I want is for us to be able to at least look each other in the eyes and frame our faces with a heartfelt smile. That's all.
Cheers.
In just two weeks, I received hate messages from three people. Three people; that should mean something, right? Two of these three literally spelled it out that they’re disgusted at the thought of me. One of these three made it clear that he/she was so annoyed by my words and actions that he/she refused to ever see me again. Well actually, all three are completely opposed to the idea of meeting me at all. Funnily, this whole hate-messages thingy started after I sent them a message of peace-making. Yeap. How bizarre.
I’m the kind of person who couldn’t stand the thought of people not liking me. Who could, right? But I’ve always been the kind who wants to settle everything displeasing that ever happened between me and anybody. I’d confront these people, through any way possible; if it’s easier to speak out through words, then messages it is. But if things could be sorted out by meeting up, then chat over drinks it is.
So two weeks ago, I decided to settle things nicely with an old friend. I sent her a message via Facebook (thank God for social networking websites). No swearing, no foul words (except for one part, in giving an example), no negative comments… just a purely honest message of reminiscing a good past, which is followed by, “It would be great if we could at least look each other in the eyes and smile. That’s all.”
What I got for a reply, was utterly shocking. A whole message containing words of despise, pointing the blame back at me (an issue that I still don’t think is my fault at all), that ended with, “Do me a favor, stay the hell out of my life and our friends’, if you have any dignity left.” Funny. Coz the ‘friends’ he/she was referring to, are still happily chatting and exchanging friendly comments with me on a daily basis. Either they’re being hypocrites or he/she was completely lying on a baseless fact.
The second person, same thing. Well, not exactly. I sent a message asking for a proper explanation on an issue. Mind you, nicely, despite this person’s obvious mistakes when that issue was at place. And then there you go again, a reply full of hate and discontent towards me. I was once again, shocked.
There was only one reason why I was so surprised by the way these two reacted; they are much older than me, which leads me to think that by right, they should be much mature than me, right? They should know better how to handle issues at hand better than I do. I felt (and still do) like I was being the wiser one by not reacting in anger like they did.
Now, the third one. I wrote about him/her in my blog. Remember ‘shithead’ (which I am more than glad to retract by now)? I re-added him/her into my friends list, thinking that bygones should be bygones and I still somehow believe that he/she is a nice person and worth to at least have as an acquaintance. I chatted with him virtually and asked him/her for opinions on matters what could be personal, just to see if I could recapture that good side of chemistry we had before the failure of getting along with each other. That one went well, but yeah, really stale tho’. So I decided, it’s just probably not gonna work, at least not the way I expected it to be. So the communication/contact rate lessens.
I wasn’t even thinking about him/her anymore until a message came in two days ago, which led me to reminiscent of the past (the good parts , of course). And I thought, “I’m leaving in a couple of weeks time and might not be coming back. Why not see him/her before I leave, see if it might work out because the first two times sucked big time. Who knows, third time’s the charm they say, right?” He/she gave me the idea of meeting up first, which, coming to think about it now, might have been a joke I didn’t get. All in all, the message-replying scenario just turned ugly, and I ended up being scorned at.
You may think that Amy is probably just being ignorant of things that might have been her fault, that she's just pretending not to hear nor see the bad side of her that people see. I thought so too. But there is another thing about me; I don’t react in anger or hatred, outwardly expressed or not, before I make sure that I am on the right side of things. For all three Haters (yeah, that’s what I call them, not exactly applicable for the third one tho’. He/she doesn’t hate me, only annoyed – as he/she put it), I actually went around asking for opinions from people whose points of view can be trusted because they don’t always think I’m right, a.k.a., honest. And they said that it’s weird that I even asked them if I’m right to feel the way I felt about Them Haters, because the issues are mighty obvious, as in, it is easily detectable who’s the victim and the villain. So, either these people whose opinions I trust are lying, or… well, I’m right.
So what happened after them Haters (the first two, actually. The third one doesn’t affect me much) replied in such anger and hatred? Did I reply them angrily and in hate as well? *smiles* I’m proud of myself, really. I calmly answered all their angry questions, correctly with no exaggerations – with bits of sarcasm here and there - and offered a second chance of peace, to which they reacted by deleting me off their friends list completely (as if that’s gonna solve the problem). And I just left it at that. It’s not that I give up in trying to settle our issue. I’m gonna try again, maybe in later years when they’re mature enough to react to peace-making messages properly.
It's not like I'm saying that I don't have any negative attributes. I do. I don't always do things correctly or handle things peoperly. I fumble and fall every now and then, I make mistakes, I blurt out displeasing words, I don't always smile 24/7, I'm not always available for help, etc. I accept the way I am and do try and change what I'm capable of changing. All apologies to people who were ever negatively affected by the decisons I made, the steps I took, the words I said, I face I put on, the assistance I failed to offer, the love I failed to give. But I think we're all capable of these shortcomings, and we're all given a choice to understand or to ignore people's imperfections, to forgive or to dwell in anger.
To my Haters, I can only hope that you will find it in your hearts someday to get rid of the hatred, and all I want is for us to be able to at least look each other in the eyes and frame our faces with a heartfelt smile. That's all.
Cheers.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Just Forget About It?
Our PM today urged us to "Have faith in Najib, ignore Altantuya allegations." Read more here (if you have access to Malaysiakini, that is).
Okay, sure, I think I can do that. Not like I trust the source 100% anyway. But what about the issue regarding the submarines and Sukhoi jets purchase? That was huge. But then again, yea sure, I think I can get over that one too, not like I've seen the thorough records of the transactions and all. But there another thing; what about the 'Keris' issue dated way back in 1987? Okay, don't get me wrong I'm not trying to stir racial tensions here, just something to make you - those of you who think that Najib should be PM soon, or ever) - rethink your opinions. I mean, yea sure he can survive all the allegations shoved at him and he might make a good Defence Minister (I'm still not sure about him being Finance Minister though). But how is he gonna handle the more important task, which is to unite the people in this country? Owh, let's not get that ambitious. How is he even going to unite the people in HIS party? Look at UMNO itself, especially presently.
Oh... I can't even start to imagine what's our country gonna be like in the next couple of years.
Okay, sure, I think I can do that. Not like I trust the source 100% anyway. But what about the issue regarding the submarines and Sukhoi jets purchase? That was huge. But then again, yea sure, I think I can get over that one too, not like I've seen the thorough records of the transactions and all. But there another thing; what about the 'Keris' issue dated way back in 1987? Okay, don't get me wrong I'm not trying to stir racial tensions here, just something to make you - those of you who think that Najib should be PM soon, or ever) - rethink your opinions. I mean, yea sure he can survive all the allegations shoved at him and he might make a good Defence Minister (I'm still not sure about him being Finance Minister though). But how is he gonna handle the more important task, which is to unite the people in this country? Owh, let's not get that ambitious. How is he even going to unite the people in HIS party? Look at UMNO itself, especially presently.
Oh... I can't even start to imagine what's our country gonna be like in the next couple of years.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Be Careful?
I receive this forwarded email in my inbox this morning:
"BE CAREFUL....
PLEASE READ and pass them on....
(1) Today i passed by a building which has an ATM machine. There was an old man looking at me and suddenly called me. He said he doesn't know how to read, so he gave me an ATM card and asked me to help him take money from the ATM machine. I answerd him 'NO!! If you need help, ask the security to help you.' Then he said 'nevermind..' and just continue to find other people to help him... REMEMBER : ATM machines have CCTV. If you help him, and later he says you have robbed him or stole his ATM card, or even his ATM card wasn't his too. So please be careful for these frauds.
(2) When the house electricity suddenly goes off, seeing from the windows that my neighbours still have lights, went out my house to check the Meter Box. But once i open the door, a knife was pointing at the door to stop me from closing it. And they robbed and injured us. REMEMBER : Eventhough your electricity suddely goes off, DO NOT open ur door immediately. Look around to see if there is anything unusual or sounds.
(3) This is another story. You think you had heard it before, but this is slightly different. Its about a girl, she saw a kid by the roadside crying. When she asked the kid, the kid said he was lost and wanted her to take him home. The kid even gave her a paper which he said it was his house address. So she took him home. But when she ring the bell on the door. She was shocked by pressing the door bell with high-voltage electric. Once she woke up, she was naked in an empty room. REMEMBER : Being such a compassion person might not be a good thing. Pass this on and girls, especially, please be careful..AND DON'T BE TOO GOOD!!
(4) One day, there was an old lady outside my house holding 2 packets of sweets. At first i thought she was our neighbour and wanted to give us these packs of sweets as a gift. But then when she talk, i can hear that she is a foreigner i guess, because i don't really understand what is she talking about. But i know that she is asking for money. And it just feels that there's something wrong. i immediately closed the door and ignored her.
(5) I was at the ATM machine to take my money. Behind me, there was an old lady asked me whether i'm able to take my money or not, because she said there's a button might be spoiled, and i don't know since when a small girl came beside me. The small girl was squeezing to my side but i didn't notice, i thought she was just naughty and playful. But then, the small girl put her hand at the hole of the ATM machine where the money comes out, ready to take my money. I felt something wrong and immediately push the small girl away. Then i thought, the small girl and the old lady cooperate together to take my money. The old lady distracted me so that the small girl can take my money away. REMEMBER: Be VERY CAREFUL when you are at an ATM machine and be aleart for anyone suspicious around you.
(6) My parents are retired and they stay at home. One afternoon, there was a young stranger said his motorcycle has no more petrol and the petrol station is too far, it's hard to push the motorcyclefor such a long distance, so he asked my parents for an empty coke bottle to buy petrol. He said he will pay 2, 3 bucks for it. So my mum took one coke bottle for him. He really did took out money from his pocket, but it was a RM 100 note, and even let my mum to find change for him.But luckily my mum was smart, she said just take and go. REMEMBER : obviously that note is fake!! Who would want to pay for a stupid empty coke bottle!! Its OBVIOUS to know that that starnger is a fraud!!
(7) this happened in Bali . A newly married couple were having their honeymoon at the hotel. When both are in the changing room, the wife suddenly gone missing. The husband was very anxious and went around to find her. He asked the hotel staffs to help him find her too. Then he thought his wife was just playing hide and seek or wat. So he went back and waited for his wife. After a few hours, he decided to call the police. 3 weeks has passed, there were no news about his missing wife. So he went back and his honeymoon just ended up like that. He was so dissapointed and has no mood to work and so he went to travel to other places. Few years later, he came back to Bali , to watch 'FREAK SHOW' in an old house. He saw a dirty and rusty metal cage, there was a lady without limbs, body including the face, full of scars. When she was distorted on the ground, she gives out a sound of a monster-like voice. when he saw her face, he was shocked. He could not recognise the face anymore, her missing wife's face has a red birthmark.
(8) this happened in shanghai. Few yeas ago, a girl reported to the police that her cousin sister was missing in the shopping complex. But after 5 years, one of her friend found her cousin sister begging beside one of the street in Bangkok , Thailand .. The worst thing is that her counsin sister has no more limbs and her body is tied to a lamp post with a Shackle (metal chain).
(9) Let's just shorten this story. DO NOT open your house door when you hear some sound of a BABY CRYING!! It might be a trap! Women in the house must be alert in these case. The police said it will be a murderer using a recorder with de baby crying sound to attract your attention. These normally happen at night and when you are only alone in the house. GIRLS, especially, plese be careful.
(10) i read an email that was sent by my friend. Her friend, who is known as A, went to Luo Hu Commercial City with 2 friends, B and C. Luo Hu Commercial City is Shenzhen counterfeit goods distribution center, there are many people there, its also near to the ShenZhen train station and Hong Kong's Luo Hu Port. Its says, C wants to go to the toilet. So A and B waited outside. But then after they waited for so long, they felt weird and went into the toilet to ask her to hurry up. But once they went in, there were nobody inside there. Both were scared as they called C's phone but no one answered. So they called the police. The police asked them whether they had saw anyboby suspicious went into the toilet. Both said there were none and its impossible to bring an alive person with more then 100 kg out of the toilet without them noticing. Then A remember there was a cleaner pushing a trolley in, and then came back out...the police told them this is not the 1st time happening. The police has already suspect a gang of criminals that always attacks the toilet in a complex where many people are. They use cleaners to kidnap or trafficking in human organs. REMEMBER : please be careful when using the toilet. For anybody, not only girls, boys too!! Do not go to the wash room or toilet ALONE!! Please at least have a partner with you.
PLEASE PASS ON THIS MAIL TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY MEMBERS!!""
You see, most of these stated situations are ones that would have us (with the less prejudiced minds) react in aid of these people. But then again, who's safe to help, and what's right to do? I just find it sad how even helping becomes questionable these days. Sigh.
"BE CAREFUL....
PLEASE READ and pass them on....
(1) Today i passed by a building which has an ATM machine. There was an old man looking at me and suddenly called me. He said he doesn't know how to read, so he gave me an ATM card and asked me to help him take money from the ATM machine. I answerd him 'NO!! If you need help, ask the security to help you.' Then he said 'nevermind..' and just continue to find other people to help him... REMEMBER : ATM machines have CCTV. If you help him, and later he says you have robbed him or stole his ATM card, or even his ATM card wasn't his too. So please be careful for these frauds.
(2) When the house electricity suddenly goes off, seeing from the windows that my neighbours still have lights, went out my house to check the Meter Box. But once i open the door, a knife was pointing at the door to stop me from closing it. And they robbed and injured us. REMEMBER : Eventhough your electricity suddely goes off, DO NOT open ur door immediately. Look around to see if there is anything unusual or sounds.
(3) This is another story. You think you had heard it before, but this is slightly different. Its about a girl, she saw a kid by the roadside crying. When she asked the kid, the kid said he was lost and wanted her to take him home. The kid even gave her a paper which he said it was his house address. So she took him home. But when she ring the bell on the door. She was shocked by pressing the door bell with high-voltage electric. Once she woke up, she was naked in an empty room. REMEMBER : Being such a compassion person might not be a good thing. Pass this on and girls, especially, please be careful..AND DON'T BE TOO GOOD!!
(4) One day, there was an old lady outside my house holding 2 packets of sweets. At first i thought she was our neighbour and wanted to give us these packs of sweets as a gift. But then when she talk, i can hear that she is a foreigner i guess, because i don't really understand what is she talking about. But i know that she is asking for money. And it just feels that there's something wrong. i immediately closed the door and ignored her.
(5) I was at the ATM machine to take my money. Behind me, there was an old lady asked me whether i'm able to take my money or not, because she said there's a button might be spoiled, and i don't know since when a small girl came beside me. The small girl was squeezing to my side but i didn't notice, i thought she was just naughty and playful. But then, the small girl put her hand at the hole of the ATM machine where the money comes out, ready to take my money. I felt something wrong and immediately push the small girl away. Then i thought, the small girl and the old lady cooperate together to take my money. The old lady distracted me so that the small girl can take my money away. REMEMBER: Be VERY CAREFUL when you are at an ATM machine and be aleart for anyone suspicious around you.
(6) My parents are retired and they stay at home. One afternoon, there was a young stranger said his motorcycle has no more petrol and the petrol station is too far, it's hard to push the motorcyclefor such a long distance, so he asked my parents for an empty coke bottle to buy petrol. He said he will pay 2, 3 bucks for it. So my mum took one coke bottle for him. He really did took out money from his pocket, but it was a RM 100 note, and even let my mum to find change for him.But luckily my mum was smart, she said just take and go. REMEMBER : obviously that note is fake!! Who would want to pay for a stupid empty coke bottle!! Its OBVIOUS to know that that starnger is a fraud!!
(7) this happened in Bali . A newly married couple were having their honeymoon at the hotel. When both are in the changing room, the wife suddenly gone missing. The husband was very anxious and went around to find her. He asked the hotel staffs to help him find her too. Then he thought his wife was just playing hide and seek or wat. So he went back and waited for his wife. After a few hours, he decided to call the police. 3 weeks has passed, there were no news about his missing wife. So he went back and his honeymoon just ended up like that. He was so dissapointed and has no mood to work and so he went to travel to other places. Few years later, he came back to Bali , to watch 'FREAK SHOW' in an old house. He saw a dirty and rusty metal cage, there was a lady without limbs, body including the face, full of scars. When she was distorted on the ground, she gives out a sound of a monster-like voice. when he saw her face, he was shocked. He could not recognise the face anymore, her missing wife's face has a red birthmark.
(8) this happened in shanghai. Few yeas ago, a girl reported to the police that her cousin sister was missing in the shopping complex. But after 5 years, one of her friend found her cousin sister begging beside one of the street in Bangkok , Thailand .. The worst thing is that her counsin sister has no more limbs and her body is tied to a lamp post with a Shackle (metal chain).
(9) Let's just shorten this story. DO NOT open your house door when you hear some sound of a BABY CRYING!! It might be a trap! Women in the house must be alert in these case. The police said it will be a murderer using a recorder with de baby crying sound to attract your attention. These normally happen at night and when you are only alone in the house. GIRLS, especially, plese be careful.
(10) i read an email that was sent by my friend. Her friend, who is known as A, went to Luo Hu Commercial City with 2 friends, B and C. Luo Hu Commercial City is Shenzhen counterfeit goods distribution center, there are many people there, its also near to the ShenZhen train station and Hong Kong's Luo Hu Port. Its says, C wants to go to the toilet. So A and B waited outside. But then after they waited for so long, they felt weird and went into the toilet to ask her to hurry up. But once they went in, there were nobody inside there. Both were scared as they called C's phone but no one answered. So they called the police. The police asked them whether they had saw anyboby suspicious went into the toilet. Both said there were none and its impossible to bring an alive person with more then 100 kg out of the toilet without them noticing. Then A remember there was a cleaner pushing a trolley in, and then came back out...the police told them this is not the 1st time happening. The police has already suspect a gang of criminals that always attacks the toilet in a complex where many people are. They use cleaners to kidnap or trafficking in human organs. REMEMBER : please be careful when using the toilet. For anybody, not only girls, boys too!! Do not go to the wash room or toilet ALONE!! Please at least have a partner with you.
PLEASE PASS ON THIS MAIL TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY MEMBERS!!""
You see, most of these stated situations are ones that would have us (with the less prejudiced minds) react in aid of these people. But then again, who's safe to help, and what's right to do? I just find it sad how even helping becomes questionable these days. Sigh.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Wouldn't It Be Nice?
Wouldn't it be nice if smiles pass off as easily as glances do?
Wouldn't it be nice if fuels can be substituted with water?
Wouldn't it be nice if people can teleport?
Wouldn't it be nice if insults sound like compliments?
Wouldn't it be nice if worrying is like dancing?
Wouldn't it be nice if people do not berate people?
Wouldn't it be nice if there are more people like Atticus Finch in this world? Or Mother Theresa? Or Mohandas Gandhi?
Wouldn't it be nice if everybody is able to see beyond the skin color, belief, background of people before judging?
Wouldn't it be nice if people don't judge at all?
Wouldn't it be nice if politicians do not philander?
Wouldn't it be nice if prices are reasonable?
Wouldn't it be nice if the word WAR couldn't possibly be an adverb, or better still, not be a vocabulary at all?
Wouldn't be nice if Adolf Hitler had found a better way of solving his issues with the Jews?
Wouldn't it be nice if people appreciate what they have more than complaining not having more?
Wouldn't it be nice if it only takes a second for people to realize the consequences of their actions?
Wouldn't it be nice if Josef Mengele had different methods for his medical experiments?
Wouldn't it be nice if people can look past their ego before taking revenge?
Wouldn't it be nice if everyone is able to see the awesome beauty of variety of nations, races, religions, beliefs, attitudes, characters, interests, etc.?
Wouldn't it be nice if anger doesn't exist?
Wouldn't it be nice if people doesn't know how to kill?
Wouldn't it be nice if people treat other people like how they expected to be treated?
Wouldn't it be nice if people are more grateful of the rain rather than complain?
Wouldn't it be nice if people really listen and ponder upon the lyrics to the song "Where Is The Love?" by Black Eyed Peas, as Hip Hop as it may be?
Wouldn't it be nice if there are 1billion Erin Gruwells spreaded across the globe?
Wouldn't it be nice if people really know what love is and love all people as much as they love thmeselves?
Wouldn't it be nice if everything I've written here is possible?
But really, wouldn't it be nice if genuine smiles pass off as easily as glances do?
Wouldn't that be great...
Wouldn't it be nice if fuels can be substituted with water?
Wouldn't it be nice if people can teleport?
Wouldn't it be nice if insults sound like compliments?
Wouldn't it be nice if worrying is like dancing?
Wouldn't it be nice if people do not berate people?
Wouldn't it be nice if there are more people like Atticus Finch in this world? Or Mother Theresa? Or Mohandas Gandhi?
Wouldn't it be nice if everybody is able to see beyond the skin color, belief, background of people before judging?
Wouldn't it be nice if people don't judge at all?
Wouldn't it be nice if politicians do not philander?
Wouldn't it be nice if prices are reasonable?
Wouldn't it be nice if the word WAR couldn't possibly be an adverb, or better still, not be a vocabulary at all?
Wouldn't be nice if Adolf Hitler had found a better way of solving his issues with the Jews?
Wouldn't it be nice if people appreciate what they have more than complaining not having more?
Wouldn't it be nice if it only takes a second for people to realize the consequences of their actions?
Wouldn't it be nice if Josef Mengele had different methods for his medical experiments?
Wouldn't it be nice if people can look past their ego before taking revenge?
Wouldn't it be nice if everyone is able to see the awesome beauty of variety of nations, races, religions, beliefs, attitudes, characters, interests, etc.?
Wouldn't it be nice if anger doesn't exist?
Wouldn't it be nice if people doesn't know how to kill?
Wouldn't it be nice if people treat other people like how they expected to be treated?
Wouldn't it be nice if people are more grateful of the rain rather than complain?
Wouldn't it be nice if people really listen and ponder upon the lyrics to the song "Where Is The Love?" by Black Eyed Peas, as Hip Hop as it may be?
Wouldn't it be nice if there are 1billion Erin Gruwells spreaded across the globe?
Wouldn't it be nice if people really know what love is and love all people as much as they love thmeselves?
Wouldn't it be nice if everything I've written here is possible?
But really, wouldn't it be nice if genuine smiles pass off as easily as glances do?
Wouldn't that be great...
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Courage the Cowardy Sent Hero to Kamunting
"Syed Hamid berkata penahanan Raja Petra itu berasaskan kepada penulisannya yang mempunyai unsur menghina dan boleh membangkitkan kemarahan umat Islam." - BERNAMA.
Read more here.
Raja Petra is a Muslim. And he had in numerous ways admitted that he is, explained thoroughly why he thinks that the majority of the Malaysian Muslims are not applying it the way it should be applied - NOTE that he did not in any way insulted or offended the religion. The way I see it he was just criticising how the religion is being practiced by most Malaysians. I'm a Catholic who have three-years of Islamic education experience - though vaguely remembered - and tonnes of Muslim friends who agree with this guy (Raja Petra), so I know that he couldn't be wrong in convicting his opinions. So tell me, in what way are the Muslims enraged by his posts, and if so, were my three years of Islamic education distorted in any way, or are my faithfully practising Muslim friends wrong in having the same opinion like Raja Petra?
And if the answer to all these questions are "NO", is it safe for me to say that the Government are just acting like insecure babies?
Read more here.
Raja Petra is a Muslim. And he had in numerous ways admitted that he is, explained thoroughly why he thinks that the majority of the Malaysian Muslims are not applying it the way it should be applied - NOTE that he did not in any way insulted or offended the religion. The way I see it he was just criticising how the religion is being practiced by most Malaysians. I'm a Catholic who have three-years of Islamic education experience - though vaguely remembered - and tonnes of Muslim friends who agree with this guy (Raja Petra), so I know that he couldn't be wrong in convicting his opinions. So tell me, in what way are the Muslims enraged by his posts, and if so, were my three years of Islamic education distorted in any way, or are my faithfully practising Muslim friends wrong in having the same opinion like Raja Petra?
And if the answer to all these questions are "NO", is it safe for me to say that the Government are just acting like insecure babies?
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Change
Change. A word, more often than not, repeated in the mouths of many since the past few decades, but more prominently so since the past few months. Is it happening? The current ruling party lost its 2/3 majority for the first time last March. Five states of this nation, who had in majority voted for the Opoosition, make up a lot of people. It is a way of saying, "No more." I would say, it is starting.
The Opposition may or may not fail to do what they promised they would fulfill when/if they managed to take over the governance of this country. By the time that (take-over) happens, they'll probably be fighting amongst themselves - with the predominantly Chinese DAP in it, Islamic State-visioned PAS in it, and the Keadilan in it. We can't deny the possibility that what's happening amongst the BN coalition (pissed Gerakan and MCA peeps) can happen to the Opposition. But hey, let's accept the fact that the current situation in our government is already screwed anyway, and what we really need right now, is CHANGE. Any change now would do, probably even if it means passing on the governance to people whose ability to bring about a positive change we doubt. But any change would do. Long as we do something about it. If they (the Opposition) said they can change this country, then give them that chance. How else would we know and then learn to trust a person's driving skills without even giving them the chance to put their hands on the steering wheel?
A friend I was having a drink with asked me, "What exactly do we need to change?" after telling me how he's sick of people - bloggers, in particular - who just can't stop complaining and firing up opinions of their readers to chastise the government along with them. He said, "You've never been to Indonesia or India before and try living there. You don't really take into consideration how aweful it is there. Ugly politics? Check. Corruption? Check. Blood-spilling riots? Check. Checked all these and they are way worse than what our people keep complaining about here. Why don't we just be thankful for what we have? What's there to change?"
He has a point. He is right about being thankful how things are not as bad as the condition of other war-tormented countries. But friend, this isn't about only complaining. This isn't about how ungrateful we are for the country we were born in and live in. This is about loving this country too much to let it be run the way it is being run. This is about loving this country too much to let the same old takes place year by year yet things get worse. This is about loving this country too much to just sit on the problems that are occuring in her economy, education, racial relations, crimes, etc. This is about taking a stand to change, deciding to do something for our country, because she is obviously not well.
The Opposition is blaming the Government for being racists. The Government is blaming the Opposition for being power-obssesed. The Chinese are blaming the Malays for being chauvinistic. The Malays are blaming the Indians for increase of criminal rates. The Borneans are blaming the West Malaysians for being biased. And so on. For the racial tension that is going on in our country, I'd like to just blame our forefathers for not being able to handle what was possibly easily curbed simply by not demanding too much for their own respective race's gain. But now is not the time for blaming. I don't see why if truly, the Government is doing what they're doing for the sake of the Rakyat, the people of this country, can't hear people out instead of detaining them when they bring up the issues that are essential to be discussed. And if truly they are about bringing about betterment for this country, why can't they just accept and discuss the opinions of the Opposition TOGETHER, instead of lashing out at them and create war in the media, defending themselves and boast about what they have done for the people? If truly, they are about this country... Why not?
Will things be better if the Opposition takes over governance? Maybe yes, maybe no. Whatever it is, we can't keep doing things the way we've been doing it for the past decades. Like what Barrack Obama said, "We need a president who can face the threats of the future, not keep grasping at the ideas of the past.” What makes me think that the Government should step down and let others take control? Present was future in the past. And in the past they had said they would change the country to be better for the greater good. But as present is now here, we see that things are only worsening. If they love this country, and the Rakyat, they would be less selfish and see that there must be something wrong in the way they're doing things, and give other people - who claim that they can do something about it - a chance.
And as for us the people, to go about organizing nationwide campaigns might sound too big and not achievable, or even ridiculous to some. The least we can do is not make things worse by being racists or biased in any whatsoever way. I have a dream that one day we will live in a world where everyone live about without being judgmental, regardless of race, of religion, of sexual orientation, of attires, of habits, of anything tangible, where everyone is selfless. Because somehow I believe that indirectly, these little things that rarely cross our worried mind are the ones that cause the bigger things. Microscopic-sized bacterias can take on your life. That's why for things to change, we need to change first, at least change in the way we treat each other.
Being a democratic country, who rules the nation is for us the people to decide. If we can change the way we see things, change the way we assume a person's character, change the way we judge others, and come as one under one name, Malaysia, we can change the country. Martin Luther said this, "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character," and I share this dream. If we can grasp this and put it to practice, I believe that this country would be a better place. Betterment is not impossible. Change is not impossible.
The Opposition may or may not fail to do what they promised they would fulfill when/if they managed to take over the governance of this country. By the time that (take-over) happens, they'll probably be fighting amongst themselves - with the predominantly Chinese DAP in it, Islamic State-visioned PAS in it, and the Keadilan in it. We can't deny the possibility that what's happening amongst the BN coalition (pissed Gerakan and MCA peeps) can happen to the Opposition. But hey, let's accept the fact that the current situation in our government is already screwed anyway, and what we really need right now, is CHANGE. Any change now would do, probably even if it means passing on the governance to people whose ability to bring about a positive change we doubt. But any change would do. Long as we do something about it. If they (the Opposition) said they can change this country, then give them that chance. How else would we know and then learn to trust a person's driving skills without even giving them the chance to put their hands on the steering wheel?
A friend I was having a drink with asked me, "What exactly do we need to change?" after telling me how he's sick of people - bloggers, in particular - who just can't stop complaining and firing up opinions of their readers to chastise the government along with them. He said, "You've never been to Indonesia or India before and try living there. You don't really take into consideration how aweful it is there. Ugly politics? Check. Corruption? Check. Blood-spilling riots? Check. Checked all these and they are way worse than what our people keep complaining about here. Why don't we just be thankful for what we have? What's there to change?"
He has a point. He is right about being thankful how things are not as bad as the condition of other war-tormented countries. But friend, this isn't about only complaining. This isn't about how ungrateful we are for the country we were born in and live in. This is about loving this country too much to let it be run the way it is being run. This is about loving this country too much to let the same old takes place year by year yet things get worse. This is about loving this country too much to just sit on the problems that are occuring in her economy, education, racial relations, crimes, etc. This is about taking a stand to change, deciding to do something for our country, because she is obviously not well.
The Opposition is blaming the Government for being racists. The Government is blaming the Opposition for being power-obssesed. The Chinese are blaming the Malays for being chauvinistic. The Malays are blaming the Indians for increase of criminal rates. The Borneans are blaming the West Malaysians for being biased. And so on. For the racial tension that is going on in our country, I'd like to just blame our forefathers for not being able to handle what was possibly easily curbed simply by not demanding too much for their own respective race's gain. But now is not the time for blaming. I don't see why if truly, the Government is doing what they're doing for the sake of the Rakyat, the people of this country, can't hear people out instead of detaining them when they bring up the issues that are essential to be discussed. And if truly they are about bringing about betterment for this country, why can't they just accept and discuss the opinions of the Opposition TOGETHER, instead of lashing out at them and create war in the media, defending themselves and boast about what they have done for the people? If truly, they are about this country... Why not?
Will things be better if the Opposition takes over governance? Maybe yes, maybe no. Whatever it is, we can't keep doing things the way we've been doing it for the past decades. Like what Barrack Obama said, "We need a president who can face the threats of the future, not keep grasping at the ideas of the past.” What makes me think that the Government should step down and let others take control? Present was future in the past. And in the past they had said they would change the country to be better for the greater good. But as present is now here, we see that things are only worsening. If they love this country, and the Rakyat, they would be less selfish and see that there must be something wrong in the way they're doing things, and give other people - who claim that they can do something about it - a chance.
And as for us the people, to go about organizing nationwide campaigns might sound too big and not achievable, or even ridiculous to some. The least we can do is not make things worse by being racists or biased in any whatsoever way. I have a dream that one day we will live in a world where everyone live about without being judgmental, regardless of race, of religion, of sexual orientation, of attires, of habits, of anything tangible, where everyone is selfless. Because somehow I believe that indirectly, these little things that rarely cross our worried mind are the ones that cause the bigger things. Microscopic-sized bacterias can take on your life. That's why for things to change, we need to change first, at least change in the way we treat each other.
Being a democratic country, who rules the nation is for us the people to decide. If we can change the way we see things, change the way we assume a person's character, change the way we judge others, and come as one under one name, Malaysia, we can change the country. Martin Luther said this, "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character," and I share this dream. If we can grasp this and put it to practice, I believe that this country would be a better place. Betterment is not impossible. Change is not impossible.
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