It's been the theme of my thought processes these recent weeks... How maybe the root of all our problems at the individual and collective levels is how far disconnected we are from everything; nature, each other, our true selves, the world, meaning, everything... Disconnected from what we know to be true but masked with the "Everything is fine" notion, there's not need to question further, just keep grinding the way we normally do, not realising that we've also unconsciously designed 'normal' to be destructive to ourselves...
I was having an exchange with the kids - which feels more like a monologue by me most of the time - about Loneliness. We've been homeschooling and our method of learning is structured partly around impromptu Youtube channels in the like of Kurzgesagt, School of Life, TED Talks, and The Odd 1s out, via videos of topics that can relate to our daily life like conflict resolutions or how our gut is the second brain. We've watched videos on the 12 main body systems, what is sinusitis, the different types of intelligence, how to make caramel bread, mental health, death, loneliness, and how we can relate to these topics through our own experiences.
Loneliness, i wrote on the white board, is an illness in one of the five dimensions of health, social. We have the physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, social aspects of health and this was fascinating for me to recall because we learned this in Holistic Health training with Liku-Liku Center, a topic I've been interested in, learning more about, for the past 3 years...
And loneliness, if we think about it is because we lost connection with each other. We've ignored the problem for so long that we're even disconnected from the ways we know how to repair those disconnections. We've let the shame and guilt that we've been dealt with growing up, take over, and i've seen too many people carrying it to their deathbed...
Think about it; increase in number of mental health issues, disconnected from ourselves. Increase in number of divorces, disconnected from each other. Perpetual environmental issues, disconnected from nature. Rise in the number of physiological illnesses, disconnected from our body. Wars, sexism, racism, bigotry, competitiveness, disconnection from each other.
So disconnected that we're consumed with ideas of competing against each other, got stuck in the "More is better, bigger is better, faster is better," mentality, and forgot that we were meant to help each other grow and survive, not champion for one specific race, religion, gender, ideology, species... Inclusivity over exclusivity...
Thinking about this makes me glad that I chose to continue homeschooling the kids beyond the pandemic lockdowns.. Because I've been so focused on attempting to repair the connections out there; with peers, work and project teams, and I overlooked the connection that needed repairing the most, the one I have with the kids... It's been so disconnected, connection online only when we're sharing it with the bigger public on social media, and the rest of it, is trying to survive each other while I edit and think up of ideas on what to upload, until they go to sleep...
It's a good thing I've learned a thing or two from my therapy with Liku-Liku and at that time when the pandemic happened, I had already started 'practicing' those things; basic stuff like emotional regulation, learning how to respond in ways that do not cause further trauma to myself and the kids, being patient, drawing necessary boundaries, unlearning people pleasing behaviours, learning how to communicate better, how to create safe spaces for those of us who need it.. Ya, those things we deem 'little' or too small to make time for or to matter. Connection.
I'm not sure if this is enough paragraphs and 'peeling'/unraveling my train of thoughts that's always going 200kmh speed... I started writing because I wanted to untie the knots of ideas and thoughts so that they 'go somewhere', instead of staying knotted in my mind. Gotta make space for creativity in approaching life's everyday stuff.
At least there's something. And this is better than nothing. If this makes you think, "Yea but strive harder, aim higher, gain more.." I'm not there and I still need to process further what I feel about that kind of mindset, careful not to simply mask it as "That's not my style" and explore if it's a case of coping mechanism and gauge whether it's beneficial to my wellbeing or not if it is.
Okay, bye. Before I say more coz honestly it doesn't end. I will always have something to say and most of the time those things stay stuck in my mind due to worrying that I will bore people or have them think of me as nonsense and crazy. Now that's some disconnection... From our true selves and from each other... :(
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