I Love It This Way

I can't remember what personality test that was, but here's what it had to say about me:

"Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality, a natural lead, who's quick to make decisions - though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once, someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

"You are more of a rebellious person that really doesn't follow anyone. You are kind of mixed up and all over the place, but you love it that way. You are that kind of easy breezy person, you believe in letting things go, life is too short. You love to just have fun and be the life of the party. You always make a big entrance. You also believe rules are definitely meant to be broken."

Friends, please do tell me if any part of that statement is wrongfully put. I don't know about the rest of it but I agree with the ones that i've put in bold, italic, and in larger font size.

I especially like the part, "...kind of mixed up and all over the place." I am. I gotta admit that. But I'm fine that way. I've live 23 years of my life like that, and it never got me into trouble. A few good friends had good-willingly pointed that out, and I accept it willingly because that's how I am and I never killed anyone or destroyed anybody's life by being like that. That is why I never bothered feeling guilty or bad about it. Until very recently...

That person - whose name or gender I won't disclose, so let's just call that person shithead and refer to him/her as 'it' - made it very clear that 'it' was freakin pissed because I didn't have a PLAN. 'It' described my unplanned method of going home as being DISCORTEOUS. I was taken aback, because out of all the many friends and acquaintances I have, not one of them ever, EVER described me as being such. Well, they're either never completely honest with me, or 'it' was just (and still is) a big asshole. Or 'it' was just totally right; I'm a mess.

Okay, I am a mess. I'm all over the place. My clothes are never really folded and placed properly; my books are all over the place; my stuff are all over the house; my bag are full of things i don't really need to carry around all the time; my timing is really bad; I decide to do too many things at a time and end up not completing any of them; and the list goes on...

But what gives shithead the right to criticize me like 'it' did? What gives 'it' the right to be so hard on me because of something that makes me, me? I just don't get it. But the weirdest part is, I don't get why am I so pissed. So farkin pissed.

I guess it's partly because no one ever say that about me. In fact, no one was ever pissed because of my character. EVER. But most of all, it's because I know shithead was right. And 'it' made me realize that not everbody can tolerate my disorganized, indecisive attitude. I know 'it' is right. But as long as no lives are at cost because of my character, I don't think I'd ever change. Ha ha ha.

Please don't think of me as being stubborn or hard-headed. But I am who I am and it had helped me digged through the lows. Life is not always sunny, and for the rainy days, you'll need someone who can dance through it. If I am to be a decisive, future-oriented, organized person, I wouldn't have been where nor how I am today. Well, I might be in better shoes but hey, I doubt I'd be any happier.

Every single person has different characteristics. Every one has different ways of approaching life. And I am the kind of person who prefers living life happily, with no worries; whatever happens, happens - which most of the time leads to last minute decisions. That's why I don't have plans, because people get upset when things don't go according to planned. Let the kind of people who likes making plans, make the plan. And let no-plan people like me cheer you up when the plans don't work. And shithead, can't you just enjoy the colorful characteristics of people? Wouldn't it be a boring world if everyone is like you?