A man was found dead in what is believed to be suicide, yesterday morning. Two of his children aged four and one respectively were also dead, just nearby him. The guy was in the process of divorce. It is aasumed that prior to taking his own life, he poisoned his children. And they presumed that he did what he did because of depression due to family issues.
It aches anyone to hear such news (especially when you're on your way to work very early in the morning... what a day-starter). Some would have reacted with an out-spoken "Bodoh," or "Why the hell did he do that?" Some would have said, "Kesian." Some would have not even bother reacting to it (yah, i know some really indifferent scumbags). Some would have said nothing in reaction, for whatever reason.
I said nothing. Not because I don't give a shit about some Malay guy in Nibong Tebal took his own life after killing his kids. I think it was too sad to know such things are happening. Not shocked, because we have heard such cases happened before. Note the plural form of c.a.s.e.(s). And that's what's making me sad about it. It seems that many people are turning into suicide as an answer to their lives' problems.
And it got me thinking, this guy could have been anyone i know. It could even be me. Life can get pretty ugly, as we all know and went through. I won't deny the possibility of any one of us resorting to such solution. Most people are too proud to admit that they'd be stupid enough to kill themselves. Or that life for them is too good to even think of it. I don't blame them. We've all had our shares of highs and lows. But were our lows as disturbing, confusing and depressing as that of Shaari Hamid's? What i meant to say is that, what could be so bad that you have to end lives? Life is a one-time oppurtunity. How screwed up can it get that a person can just destroy such oppurtunity?
My answer is, nothing can be that bad. Nothing can be so screwed-up that there's no solution other than end a life. As long as there's breath, one is capable of anything. Of course a mute person can't sing. But i know a mute friend who can play the guitar. And of course a wheel-chair bound person can't dance. But I know a friend, Susan Leong, who has no ability to speak, walk, or respond properly, and she writes song lyrics. I'm getting somewhere. Read on.
I don't dare say that I'm not going to be stupid enough to commit suicide as an answer to life's difficulties. I don't dare say that if life hits me hard someday, suicide would be the last thing on my mind. I don't dare say that i'm strong enough to face any kinds of problems in life. Because i'm not strong. Trust me, I learned it the hard way.
I believe that i hadn't survived a tough childhood on my own accord, that there's a great source of strength that had sustained me throughout all the troubles, the high-tides of life. Many times i felt like giving up. Well actually, by attempting suicide three times during my teenage years, i've already given up. But i guess the Big Guy up there refused to give up on me and thus rejected taking my life just yet.
The one thing that i believe a person should have in his/her life is a belief. A belief in something greater beyond human strength. Some things, most things, no... ALL things couldn't be possible without that belief in a God; at least i think so. And somehow i wish, I could have detected all these people who were so troubled in life and committed suicide, moments or a day before they did so, to share with them what I believe, and maybe change their mind... *Silence*
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